The Tainted Pickle

Skewed observations about everyday life.

Why am I here? Am I learning what I signed up for? Did I sign up? Who am I? Who the hell are you? Will the master appear when the student is ready? Will the student appear when master is sleeping? Does an apple a day really keep the HMO away? Why do I pay insurance premiums when I can’t make a claim? Is free speech really free? Is a problem an opportunity for growth? Can my inner child outgrow me? In old cowboy movies, why didn’t their hats ever fall off? Why was the good guy always in white? Are doctors trained to write badly? Is my to-do list an exercise in fictional writing? Is the glass half empty? Is the glass half full? Is the glass too big? Is the glass refillable? Where did the glass come from? Is a pirate’s favorite letter really R? Why do they always compare the size of tumors to fruit? Can beaver dams negatively affect our natural resources? If I have to pay for my sins, who is in accounts receivable? Will I have enough when my term is up? Is there a balloon payment? Can I pay via credit? If I want to pay it forward, can I pay for someone else’s sins? Why is my price quote always different from what I really pay? How long should I keep a birthday card before throwing it away? Why do people lie about their weight to the DMV? Why does my dog like to poop under the apple tree? Why doesn’t the tree seem to mind? If I let my mind run free, will it come back?